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Rebal771
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Name: Travis
Birthday: 1/19/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: Smiling when I get it.
Smiling when I don't.
Smiling when You get it
Forced down your own throat.
Laughing when I'm happy.
Laughing when I'm angry.
Laughing at you, to your face
Trying to make you hate me.
Expertise: Teaching lessons to millions of people
While cutting myself down to watch them scream
Learning on my own how life's supposed to go,
While trying to keep a dream...You know, you're bound to fail.
Occupation: Retired
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
12/3/2003
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| So many things to say, never enough time to think
Watching the prices that I pay for selfish deeds and bittersweets
Invest in the temporary, spend it all on red
Wishing for better than my results in a bed. Sometimes, I'm such a fool
I compromise the use of tools
Beating the nails with a wrench will work
But the wrench will not afterwards When I smashed my thumb it hurt so much
But I had no idea it was more than once
So I kill the pain with apathy
Until it comes back to haunt me. Such a terrible thing, such evil inside
Such indifference to tonight will make you miserable for life. I'm sick, I'm tired, I'm bored, and I'm wired
Give me a pill before this consumes my entire mind. I'm not okay. I need a slap in the face. Wring me out like a dirty rag,
Empty me of this grime I hold
Across the cleanest surface I drag
The germs that bring malevolent mold. I know it's wrong...but I'm getting old.
I've sacrificed my soul.
What's left is a dead man walking.
These lifeless bodies all seem to be talking...
Tell me the one about the lonely old man
He hides what's inside when he raises his hand
He destroys what he loves and there's always a lie
I tell you what, he's my kinda guy. | | |
| Dear Xanga,
I'm very sorry, but I have to admit that I really haven't felt the need or urge to write in a while. I didn't forget about you...I'm just not creative to make use of your company. You are not forgotten, and I will continue to return once in a while; but I am afraid that our once unbreakable bond has been weathered by my gradual maturity and understanding of the world around me.
When I am in need...I will return. Until then, may we both remember the good lines and great times.
Sincerely,
Travis
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| So the ice storm hit this weekend, and I was ready. I bought food to last me till the 15th, and I beefed up my clothing attire so that I wouldn't have to use a bunch of heat.
Well...the ice storm came and went...but now it's remnants (the left-over ice) are kind of just hanging behind...lingering until the sun dries it up. Yet, somehow...despite all the bad weather and everything...our heater didn't break until last night, and now...it's freezing. I didn't know that the heat could just stop blowing while the A/C fan kept working...but it did. So now...my house is without heat.
The problem (yeah still not there, but I 'm about to get to it) is that Rick (my roommate who owns the house) is "putting off" repairing the heater until he can figure something out. What he means by "figure something out"...I have no clue. All I know is that if he doesn't fix the heat within the next couple days...I'm going to probably need to move out. We already have a plumbing problem with the upstairs bathroom, and if the pipes freeze (due to the lack of heat)...we could very well have a plubming problem with the entire house. The repair-bill will go from paying to fix the heating unit...to paying to fix the heating AND the plumbing.
The crazy thing is...he has repeatedly asked me NOT to move out (I don't know why he thought I was going to in the first place) because my rent is part of his income...and it's how he pays the bills. So, as of now, I'm kind of stuck in a position where I know that I can't live in the current condition that the house is in...but if I move out...Rick loses the house...Ryan loses a place to live...and I make it out safely, while still trying to find a suitable living space.
I know I don't really write in this much...and I know that a lot of you have quit as well...but some of you still get this in your e-mail, so I know that SOMEONE will read this EVENTUALLY.
My question to you is...what would you do in this situation?
Would you start looking for a new place to live? Would you start hunting for an apartment or another person who will let me pay a flat-rent-rate? What if my actions DO cause him to lose his house? Should I feel guilty?
The only reason I am asking all of this is because I can't, honestly, tell...or figure out what the right thing to do here is. I'm extremely worried about my living conditions...but I'm also worried about affecting my friends' well being. Ryan and I have semi-agreed that if Rick raised the rent again, we were going to move out to an apartment (or another house) together...but this isn't exactly "raising the rent". It's more of a gamble to see how long the house can "make it" until he can "figure it out".
This is kind of serious...but not like...a life emergency. I'd just like a few responses, if you guys don't mind.
Thanks.
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| I'm over-liberated.
I'm underpaid and hate it.
And when I strike the match
I hope you're ready for the action!
I've stayed down in the Midwest
And I've claimed I'd leave to protest
But something sweet in all this heat
Means I'm not broke and hopeless.
It's all these dreams of making my life mean it-
They scream for faking a need for feelin's.
Someone make them go away.
I'll deal with life someother day.
If I should die before I wake
I'll pray that selfish human way
And though I be my own dismay...
I'm greatful for another day...
Since right is left and wrong is right
Would I be wrong if I left to write?
Would mild songs shed any light
On a future generations plight?
Cause giving in to older sins
Is living in my old revenge.
If I should die while I'm awake
Could I change my mind for my souls sake?
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| Yesterday I left all those problems from the world on the porch
Letting the sun dry up the pain
Cause in the end all that matters are decisions that we make
So pass the torch
So purely burning in the rain.
Fight fire with fire without desire
Decide which premise is higher
Destroy the road to what you know
So no one calls you a liar.
And they go singing...
Holidays are great when everyone cooperates
And the best times always seem to feel at home
We can turn sadness and tears
Into helping hands and frosty beers,
We can make the difference
If we take the time.
Too Spoo To Cool
I'm too Spoo for High School.
I'm too cruel for tools.
Yeah I'm too Spoo despite you.
(I'm too Spoo to fight you.)
Celestial Skies
There's more to life than a celestial sky
And never ending "why's".
Saving she would spare the sigh
Then I would rather lie.
Her hat is slowly tipped to me
And steady as I try,
I can't remove the tear beneath,
The veins inside my eye.
Squeezing tightly as I should
Could I prevent my cry,
I would blink. To blink would I
To see a celestial sky.
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